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Do couples buy Engagement Rings together?

Whilst it’s common to envision a marriage proposal with a man kneeling down to present his beloved with a diamond ring, there is one major detail about this life-changing moment that is not so often spoken about. How does the man choose the style of the Engagement Ring? And does he make this purchase alone? Many might assume that a woman plays a passive role and purely alludes to the designs she likes, then off the man goes independently to purchase an engagement ring. Perhaps you also imagine the man bringing along a friend or his mother to the jeweller to assist. But this is far from the truth. Especially for our clients purchasing their engagement rings in Melbourne. 

Contrary to popular belief, the groom picking out an engagement ring entirely on his own is far less common than people may imagine. Instead the reality is that nearly all modern couples will choose their diamond ring together.

Women are greatly involved in this highly anticipated moment and play a much larger part than simply pointing out beautiful diamond rings in retail display windows. It’s no longer dropping subtle hints to their boyfriends through texting images and sharing videos about what they desire. Women are deeply involved in the design of their engagement rings. And with great reason - they will be the ones wearing it for the rest of their lives.

There are a few different scenarios. But by far the most popular is the couple visiting to custom design their engagement ring and sharing the entire experience together at Janai Melbourne. During their appointment they will decide on which features are most important to them (diamond carat weight and quality, setting design, yellow gold or white gold, all of the personal design details) and create the engagement ring together exactly to their own style. Some women do prefer to come into an engagement ring consultation and purely show their partner their taste and style in rings, they will choose a main design or desired diamond shape/size and let their partner do the rest. On occasion they may choose two or three options to then leave the decision up to their boyfriend in the end.

The sharing of this moment together takes away an aspect of vulnerability from both sides about the proposal. It is particularly reassuring for a man to know that his partner will say yes when he does pop the question and gives him an extra boost of confidence. It’s also comforting to women as they feel secure knowing where they stand in the relationship. Especially when it's with a ring that they chose and love where they will be at peace knowing a proposal is coming in the near future.

It’s never a good idea to go in totally blind. Most men just want their partner to be happy and are eager to please their girlfriends, but just don’t know which engagement ring to choose. Asking their wives-to-be what style of ring they wish for (shape, style of setting, type of gold) makes the decision that much easier. It eliminates any risk about choosing the perfect diamond/design and makes sure you are both on a similar timeline towards your future together. 

As couples design the ring together there is an unspoken etiquette. There is a mindset of respecting each other's wishes and desires surrounding the Engagement Ring. Perhaps the most important aspect is to have a natural or lab-grown diamond, a particular carat weight/diamond quality or the budget and what the man is comfortable spending. This test of compatibility will undoubtedly spark a dialogue around expectations and what is important to one another and their future lifestyle. Long before an Engagement Ring consultation happens, it's essential for couples to ease into the conversation of when they plan on getting married and how their expectations around an engagement and proposal. This is the time to broach the subject in a much more open manner expressing their views and opinions. Discussing the engagement ring makes sure you have joint-goals and ideas for your future together. Many make an occasion out of the day that forms part of their bonding experience for couples planning their future together. 

A common misconception is about the surprise element of a proposal. Whilst couples choose the engagement ring together, the elements of the proposal will still remain a mystery. Both being involved in the process of an engagement ring design is entirely separate to how the man is going to ask, in terms of where and which occasion it will happen. Our team at Janai are discreet and understand this is a highly sensitive area. 

Some argue that choosing your own Engagement Ring is emasculating or going against tradition, but there is no shame or stigma attached to experiencing this moment together. Ultimately it depends on the dynamic of your relationship and what you are both comfortable with. No two couples are the same. Make sure you’re on the same page. Women do not want to stare down for a lifetime at a ring that they don’t like and men don’t want to be met with disappointment when they present the ring to their loved one.

Everybody has probably heard former stories about women hating their engagement rings, but graciously accepting them as they appreciate the romantic gesture and as not to offend their partner. We feel there is no need for forever repressed feelings and we are sure men do not want to see their investment tucked away in a jewellery box unworn. Why hear a lifetime of polite excuses such as ‘I’m afraid of losing the ring’ or ‘It’s uncomfortable/wrong size’ or ‘It’s too delicate, I’m scared I will damage it’? or be sweet about the situation and wear an unloved diamond ring out of a sense of obligation. The alternative is to create the perfect ring of your dreams.

Buying an engagement ring together in Melbourne is a major milestone in a relationship and one of the first important joint decisions together as a couple. Despite the old fashioned dynamic of the man popping the question, long gone are the days where women sit and wait praying that their boyfriend chooses the ring of their dreams. Perhaps once upon a time considered a controversial choice this old fashioned narrative no longer exists. It still carries the romance and tradition of a proposal whilst uniting the couple and the idea is far less shocking that women are equally participating in the planning and design of their Engagement Rings. Instead the modern-day approach is deciding together as a couple and the woman designing her dream engagement ring.

To book your appointment to start designing your perfect Engagement Ring with us in Melbourne. Please fill out the form below.

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